Latest comments

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  Stranger than Fiction

  Miracles don't exist, but I swear my amethyst healing buttplug absorbs good vibes and supercharges my immune system

  1d

  +1
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  Rare dad unlocked

  I take my steak medium

  1d

  0
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  main character

  That's why you leave a bb gun backstage for the stagehands

  1d

  0
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  Car dealership

  That's the bank you're stuck paying to, not the dealership. I'm not sure if the dealership sees any of that interest pay.

  2026-07-22 04:00

  +1
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  “When you look at the dark side, careful you must be. F...

  It's a cyclops

  2026-07-22 03:43

  0
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  Too aware

  Someone came up with a newer, specialer kind of special boy? That must be me!

  2026-07-21 09:56

  0
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  unlikely babysitter

  It's herding the livestock

  2026-07-21 09:19

  +8
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  no tip

  Tips are for exceptional table service, they're a gift that shouldn't be expected.

  2026-07-21 09:16

  0
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  Games should roast you for picking easy mode

  Double comment

  2026-07-21 08:22

  +3
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  Games should roast you for picking easy mode

  You want to be patted on the back for being worse at something?

  2026-07-21 08:19

  +4
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  Lettuce was guilty

  Michigan eh?

  2026-07-20 17:58

  0
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  his groceries

  *readies harpoon* He took the bait

  2026-07-20 17:55

  0
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  one star

  Me when The Stormlight Archive added troons

  2026-07-20 17:41

  0
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  Meme

  It takes some impressive mental gymnastics to reach that conclusion, well done

  2026-07-19 19:41

  +1
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  Oh mah heart, mah soul

  Both men and women should look for people who don't have a history of sleeping around

  2026-07-18 09:50

  +2
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  Carnist Pinball

  Carnist? Do you mean people who eat meat? Not sure why you need a new word for normal people

  2026-07-18 09:40

  +11
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  Picks out a geoduck from the local fishmongers wares

  I'm afraid you're mistaken, that's a shelled garloid

  2026-07-18 06:02

  0
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  Relatively Speaking

  Nice try, data farmer

  2026-07-18 05:15

  +2
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  Leftist. Nazi. Activist. These words get thrown around so...

  You don't care about your water, you just want something to complain about

  2026-07-16 15:50

  +2
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  How dare you

  Even you don't believe this garbage, OP

  2026-07-16 15:47

  +12
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  Average England fan

  Nobody did before we lost either.

  2026-07-16 08:25

  +1
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  humanity restored

  And you were so moved by your own altruism that you simply HAD to post it on social media. Fake and gay.

  2026-07-16 08:07

  +33
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  Who would you save?

  1. I love my mom, but my son's mom comes first.

  2026-07-16 07:25

  0
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  Bartender of the year

  She really had to have the bartender hold the pose while she took out her phone and took a picture of the supposedly discreet note. Bartenders do this, but this time it seems fake and gay

  2026-07-16 06:42

  +21
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  King of everything

  To be fair, the English royalty at the time were closely related to French royalty

  2026-07-16 06:04

  +2
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  French fans picking a side after Spain knocked out Argentina

  If I lost in some tournament I'd want the guy who beat me to win. I'd rather be beaten by the champion than some rando

  2026-07-16 02:56

  0
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  That look when they ask what you're obviously doing

  If the conversation is just gonna be pointless small talk then I don't want to be part of it. Small talk is irritating to me.

  2026-07-16 02:52

  0
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  Blame the lag

  Singleplayer games

  2026-07-16 02:48

  0
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  skynet beta

  Fake and gay

  2026-07-16 02:45

  0
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  soon:

  *eats pork* Delicious

  2026-07-16 01:34

  +1
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  What part of “Trump raped E. Jean Carroll” do you not...

  Great, more claims without evidence. Can you provide any OP? Any evidence at all?

  2026-07-16 01:22

  +1
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  "He's dark and deep" means he's a hunk who can't form a c...

  That seems more like a vision or focus issue than an intelligence issue

  2026-07-16 01:14

  +1
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  AI de-aging is becoming its own movie genre

  I couldn't care less about the AI use, I just want them to leave Lord of the Rings alone

  2026-07-15 09:53

  +4
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  Update screen final boss

  I'll base my merchant republic on pork and pigskin leather, and send as much that way as possible

  2026-07-14 23:02

  +1
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  Update screen final boss

  Can't wait for the CK3 updates this year

  2026-07-14 21:37

  +1
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  Rich kid struggles

  *Non-American detected* *Opinion disregarded*

  2026-07-14 21:32

  +1
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  give a fuck or more

  Thank you for complying with the globule check at the door

  2026-07-14 03:00

  0
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  Relationships

  He's about a month and a half old, she's had some time to heal

  2026-07-14 00:07

  0
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  arrow guy

  Where in the world did you hear that?

  2026-07-13 04:04

  +1
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  *places necklace around neck*

  It is now

  2026-07-13 02:23

  0
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  tiny menace

  But the jug is so colorful

  2026-07-13 02:21

  0
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  toilet delivery

  Then what's that remote for?

  2026-07-13 02:18

  0
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  bad foreshadowing

  Lesbians tend to sleep with more men than most straight women.

  2026-07-13 02:15

  +1
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  Interestingly interesting

  You're inventing something in your head and convincing yourself it's reality.

  2026-07-13 02:12

  +5
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  How could you say something so controversial and yet so r...

  "Everyone needs to think X is bad or else they're bad people" *uses mental gymnastics to explain why that guy I don't like is X*

  2026-07-13 02:11

  +12
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  Blender Memes

  That doesn't bother me at all

  2026-07-13 02:03

  0
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  no thanks

  *generates another funny image*

  2026-07-13 01:53

  0
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  Niggaliphobia

  S. It's been an honor, gentlemen.

  2026-07-13 01:49

  +3
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  Just get an AC man...

  I think that's a cope.

  2026-07-13 01:44

  0
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  Relationships

  Yeah, it's my first, but we're working on a second

  2026-07-12 17:54

  0
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  can this be?

  I'll take her at her word, at least until she demonstrates otherwise

  2026-07-11 14:42

  +2
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  Efficiency matters

  Kerbal Space Program taught me that

  2026-07-11 00:34

  +2
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  President

  Not only are you wrong, you're lying. You know that's not true.

  2026-07-11 00:28

  +12
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  Relationships

  I'm doing great, my son was born and he's happy, healthy and chubby

  2026-07-10 21:11

  +5
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  Caught resting again

  Precisely 30 seconds after my butt touches my chair I swear an alarm goes off in her head

  2026-07-10 13:30

  +7
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  Did you?

  That's not even remotely similar to missionary work, but yeah, getting that close to bears and playing with their cubs is very stupid.

  2026-07-10 02:23

  +11
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  Did you?

  There's nothing wrong with spreading your religion through acts of love, charity and kindness. Doing so at the risk of being murdered and eaten is incredibly courageous as well. That's what missionary work is.

  2026-07-10 01:58

  +20
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  Did you?

  The Christian right is the most charitable demographic there is OP, and it's not even close. Not feeding drug addictions and not allowing violent savages and rapists into your country is another thing entirely.

  2026-07-10 01:41

  +32
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  Pip deserves better

  I've been raising parrots in preparation for your visit

  2026-07-09 22:14

  +2
• 
  Ah hell no

  When she farts I just fart louder

  2026-07-09 22:12

  +2
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  aged well

  I don't like At World's End as much as Dead Man's Chest, but it's still good to me. I think Dead Man's Chest is the best one tbh.

  2026-07-09 08:14

  +6
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  aged well

  Everyone loved Dead Man's Chest and At World's End was good too, 4 and 5 were the mediocre cash grabs.

  2026-07-09 08:05

  +22
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  Dongasaurusrex

  It's not a dinosaur, it's a rare garloid breed that's adapted better than most to the land

  2026-07-09 07:57

  +4
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  My fave food

  Good lord man take a breath, you're choking on it!

  2026-07-09 07:55

  +1
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  Needs More Pipe

  Mr. President, what is your opinion on straws? Are bendy ones or straight ones better?

  2026-07-09 07:53

  +1
• 
  Forbidden Fruit

  

  2026-07-09 05:45

  +1
• 
  Bro's negotiating

  Because they're typically willing to pay more, being on vacation. I wouldn't charge a tourist more, but I don't really see anything wrong with doing so either.

  2026-07-09 05:43

  +1
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  Short girl detected

  No cost, he dodged a headache

  2026-07-09 05:34

  +2
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  forever evidence

  Yeah, that's pretty much where I was until an old lady at a bar decided to play matchmaker and pretty much forced my fiance and I together because we both seemed too shy to talk to anyone

  2026-07-09 05:22

  +1
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  we’re still better

  I think it's more likely that her father was never in the picture to begin with.

  2026-07-09 05:09

  +1
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  corporate soup

  Good, this was long overdue.

  2026-07-09 05:08

  0
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  moving on

  That's just plain false, France has a 3.5M African-born population compared to America's 2.5M, despite having 1/5 the total population. The problem is over 5 times as bad there.

  2026-07-09 05:03

  -1
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  Peak restaurant design

  Look at how fast food restaraunts looked a few decades ago compared to now.

  2026-07-09 04:57

  0
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  Big if true

  Nice try, those are clearly photoshopped

  2026-07-09 04:56

  0
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  double trouble

  You shouldn't have sex unless you're ready and willing to have a child

  2026-07-09 04:53

  0
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  Well well well, how the turntables.

  And has lots of priors

  2026-07-09 04:37

  +4
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  Just waiting for Dems to deny they ever supported this da...

  What haven't I been paying attention to? And what did I say that makes you think it was willful?

  2026-07-08 19:29

  0
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  Interestingly interesting

  Do you think going to mars is not a worthy endeavor?

  2026-07-08 17:39

  +10
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  Lol

  Those economists in the early 1900s were retarded then, because those two things are mutually exclusive. The perfected form of unregulated markets can't be heavily state-regulated markets.

  2026-07-08 10:18

  0
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  Script wasn't ready

  Americans don't care about soccer.

  2026-07-08 10:09

  +6
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  Just waiting for Dems to deny they ever supported this da...

  No, I'm just trying not to be hypocritical. I'm not gonna defend baseless accusations just because they're against somebody I don't like. Investigate them for sure, but I don't want to smear someone's name over a falsehood.

  2026-07-07 23:19

  0
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  Just waiting for Dems to deny they ever supported this da...

  Is there any evidence?

  2026-07-07 21:32

  -3
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  Title

  You don't make the worst decisions, you just don't make any decisions until it's too late

  2026-07-07 03:21

  +5
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  We don't really care about that sport that we tried to rig

  BREAKING NEWS FOREIGNERS STILL JEALOUS U.S "I literally can't go 3 minutes without thinking about them" -foreigner

  2026-07-07 02:41

  +7
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  English is drunk

  Don't blame the English language for that, blame slang. Terrific used to mean "causing terror," but its use changed over time. Awful used to be a positive word too, like awesome

  2026-07-06 13:17

  +8
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  Vfr

  Christians are the most charitable demographic by far.

  2026-07-06 13:08

  +18
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  That about sums it up

  Nobody buys that anymore.

  2026-07-06 06:45

  0
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  That about sums it up

  Lesbians have the highest domestic abuse rate, straight couples are in the middle, and gays have the lowest. And in straight couples, women initiate domestic violence more often than men, even though men usually do more damage.

  2026-07-06 03:28

  +1
• 
  That about sums it up

  Gr8 b8 m8

  2026-07-06 03:26

  0
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  Your enemy is from within

  Non-American detected Opinion disregarded

  2026-07-05 22:53

  +3
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  Collective punishment

  Maybe if it were a military classroom or in a warzone or something, but the geneva convention applies to wartime and armed conflict, not high school.

  2026-07-05 09:59

  0
• 
  Down vote this if you must. But you cannot be both.

  What happened in Tiananmen Square in 1989?

  2026-07-04 18:55

  +8
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  Down vote this if you must. But you cannot be both.

  If it were any other republican in the office you'd say that about him instead.

  2026-07-04 18:54

  +3
• 
  250

  Teddy is my favorite president

  2026-07-04 18:52

  +9
• 
  dongs in an indian

  Because it pretty much is

  2026-07-04 07:54

  0
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  big bird

  I've been sweating so much when I sleep for the last few weeks, it doesn't matter how cool the room is

  2026-07-04 07:49

  0
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  Corporate copium

  I don't think anyone anywhere says that unless they're payed to

  2026-07-04 07:44

  0
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  Sam carried

  But he's never around

  2026-07-04 07:41

  0
• 
  Meanwhile in Europe

  People don't think Europeans should all buy ACs, people think Europeans should all be ALLOWED to buy ACs. Big difference.

  2026-07-04 07:40

  +1
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  Collective punishment

  How?

  2026-07-04 07:37

  0