Latest comments

• 
  Tipping the scales at Walmart

  A 72 lb banana? Sounds like a lot.

  6h

  0
• 
  Virus got ratioed

  Bullied is censored now? Seriously?

  6h

  +2
• 
  save them

  I have enough Nuka Cola to open a Costco.

  6h

  +1
• 
  brothers

  They are only like 2 generations after leaving the trees; they'll be fine

  6h

  0
• 
  As long as you're happy

  I left you a present. It smells like asparagus.

  6h

  0
• 
  Future looked cooler

  She had to stay at her desk until retirement. We weren't pussies back then.

  6h

  +1
• 
  Critics in shambles

  I have heard bad things from people who are definitely not part of the woke crowd.

  9h

  +1
• 
  Dad was stressed

  Now that's funny.

  2026-06-05 17:38

  0
• 
  Don’t doubt your dad

  It's a plane, they are all super high.

  2026-06-05 17:35

  0
• 
  Corporate speedrun

  After the third kid, circuses start looking pretty good.

  2026-06-05 17:20

  +9
• 
  Disappear rich

  If I won $20 with a scratch off, I would probably move into a shack in the woods.

  2026-06-05 16:56

  0
• 
  The mind is the 2nd thing to go

  I can't hear the word lobby without thinking of the vitriolic hate filled COD lobby. God I miss that place

  2026-06-05 14:18

  0
• 
  email immunity

  This is me. I hope this email finds you well. Surprise it didn't find me at all.

  2026-06-05 14:13

  +1
• 
  duck daycare

  Menthols.

  2026-06-05 14:12

  +2
• 
  History class cancelled

  The only thing really new about colonialism was how big the technology gap was. We were firing cannons at people that had never seen a wheel or domesticated an animal. Pretty hard not to be exploitive.

  2026-06-05 14:10

  +2
• 
  Burned

  For the last time, that was a dude.

  2026-06-05 14:03

  0
• 
  She inspired him to be a better man

  He's banging her hotter sister now.

  2026-06-05 13:56

  0
• 
  Stupid

  Wow. Much cringe.

  2026-06-05 13:51

  0
• 
  Gun

  Pick the gun, then you can have both.

  2026-06-05 13:47

  +1
• 
  Cheese broke him

  So, ratatouille was a helmet?

  2026-06-05 13:44

  0
• 
  Celebrating Pride month in Iran.

  My racism and homophobia are fighting so bad right now.

  2026-06-05 13:39

  0
• 
  Mathematics

  And I'm spent.

  2026-06-05 13:26

  +1
• 
  I wouldn't do that. Risk/reward algorithm off.

  Happy salmonella day

  2026-06-05 13:23

  0
• 
  avocado engineer

  Ok Steve.

  2026-06-05 13:20

  +2
• 
  Daddy nooooo

  I wish my marriage license had an expiration date.

  2026-06-05 13:06

  +4
• 
  Lol

  A hardened criminal.

  2026-06-05 13:05

  +4
• 
  My favorite holiday, you should see my killdozer tree.

  I can't measure time since the pandemic either.

  2026-06-05 09:53

  +1
• 
  Interestingly interesting

  Couldn't the doctor just preserve them somehow? The husband could have kept them on his desk or something.

  2026-06-05 09:52

  +19
• 
  Pizza guardian angel

  11years of pizza, let me guess heart attack?

  2026-06-05 09:46

  +7
• 
  hockey is cool

  I don't know what team you're watching.

  2026-06-05 09:45

  +1
• 
  elmo count

  Tickle this bitch!

  2026-06-05 09:38

  +3
• 
  I just use the elevator.

  Crop duster.

  2026-06-04 18:00

  +7
• 
  Big tinder lie

  You need to move to a fatter state

  2026-06-04 17:47

  0
• 
  free where

  1000 years ago when I ran a restaurant, my first rule was to feed the technicians. It saved you a lot of money in the long run.

  2026-06-04 17:32

  0
• 
  Instructions unclear.

  Pastafarian blasphemy.

  2026-06-04 17:20

  +6
• 
  Can’t even be sad

  I always cry at the end when the Soviets roll in.

  2026-06-04 15:44

  +1
• 
  Brothers in arms

  Not what you want to hear when you get on a bus.

  2026-06-04 14:35

  0
• 
  Biden is just holding in a fart

  This aged poorly.

  2026-06-04 14:32

  0
• 
  Wife won

  Thank you, I thought I was the only one to notice.

  2026-06-04 14:24

  +9
• 
  future bros

  Clay face and sandman

  2026-06-04 14:22

  +2
• 
  Financially deceased

  You can do BOTH??

  2026-06-04 14:20

  0
• 
  pick side

  Mostly in black and white.....

  2026-06-04 14:18

  +3
• 
  pick side

  It's really good. The lighting and camera angles are especially done for black and white. This could be a real Sam Spade movie.

  2026-06-04 14:18

  +3
• 
  First flight ever

  She could be hiding 4 rocket launchers, an Uzi and a rabid badger in them folds.

  2026-06-04 13:58

  +3
• 
  Japan stays winning

  Half the women in Atlanta could trigger that with a slow jog.

  2026-06-04 13:22

  +4
• 
  Japan stays winning

  G rossly oversimplified.

  2026-06-04 13:21

  +4
• 
  Poor uncle Owen.

  And Amadala didn't bang half of Coruscant on her way to VP.

  2026-06-04 13:14

  +2
• 
  Costco chess move

  I remember a passive aggressive fight with my wife where we both refused to do the dishes. I was eating cereal out of a butter crock and drinking out of toddler sippy cups at the end.

  2026-06-04 11:54

  +3
• 
  my bad

  That's why I never eat Veggies. Fuck those kids.

  2026-06-04 09:08

  +1
• 
  easy choice

  Compound V. I want to see the world burn.

  2026-06-04 09:04

  +4
• 
  Well sheet that’s just weird

  Ah, the Oprah-maxx.

  2026-06-04 08:56

  0
• 
  Quote of the year

  Vi Ri Tard is the new Harvard motto.

  2026-06-03 17:39

  +1
• 
  Board rejected it

  Imagine a version of teams just for bitchy women. Gripr maybe.

  2026-06-03 17:37

  +2
• 
  I made an LGBT, it’s beautiful ok

  Queso would make it complete.

  2026-06-03 17:20

  0
• 
  Please sit down, uggo

  $20 is $20. I'll put Vaseline on my glasses and get to work.

  2026-06-03 17:15

  +1
• 
  Well sheet that’s just weird

  I sheet my pants, it's wet and I don't wanna move.

  2026-06-03 17:14

  +9
• 
  absolute legend

  He was MAID to do this.

  2026-06-03 16:50

  +2
• 
  First canyon reaction

  We'll just go around. How wide can it be?

  2026-06-03 16:46

  +1
• 
  Poor uncle Owen.

  Only imperial storm troopers are so precise. This one time and then never again.

  2026-06-03 16:30

  +6
• 
  This would be funny as hell. First Pride Month even I sup...

  That's the chaos I am envisioning. Everyone is thinking of this as a TDS post. I am picturing a Monte Python skit. I am so misunderstood on this platform.

  2026-06-03 14:58

  -1
• 
  Dongs on the bad guys

  That Austrian painter tried to warn them.

  2026-06-03 14:22

  +13
• 
  Never break pasta in front of an italian

  They were from Home Depot, not much of an accomplishment.

  2026-06-03 13:57

  +7
• 
  This would be funny as hell. First Pride Month even I sup...

  Like minimum heal size? At least 25% body paint, bare midriffs required? Clothing must be 2 sizes too small? I think it would be a riot watching the fight with these freaks in the background.

  2026-06-03 13:50

  -20
• 
  Never break pasta in front of an italian

  Breaking pasta lets all the vitamins and ministers leak out.

  2026-06-03 13:42

  +7
• 
  Trust based economy

  E ought!

  2026-06-03 08:21

  +2
• 
  Let the kids know, time is running out

  My favorite bit was when Hank used a mini can of WD-40 to loosen the cap on the big can of WD-40.

  2026-06-02 17:05

  +12
• 
  Toyota activities

  Nice tread. Don't ride in the rain dude.

  2026-06-02 15:53

  +2
• 
  Just girly things...

  Her and I discussed this very topic during last night's pillow time.

  2026-06-02 15:51

  -6
• 
  Imagine what that smells like.

  It's the teeth I find concerning

  2026-06-02 15:49

  +1
• 
  movie logic

  Also superheroes punching people through walls and assuming they are unharmed.

  2026-06-02 15:10

  +2
• 
  Bravo Hungary Welcome Back To The 21st Century

  I miss Orban already. He was corrupt, but he kept the nation grounded.

  2026-06-02 14:38

  +2
• 
  Maga Insanity

  Hang on, I need to write this down. Is there a DIY video on YouTube?

  2026-06-02 14:36

  +1
• 
  Kids won't know

  I loved that movie. He got a raw deal, he was doing something inappropriate in the appropriate place. Seriously, with all the horrors that have come to light about Hollywood, this was nothing.

  2026-06-02 14:34

  +2
• 
  Disney Killed Star Wars & Marvel

  It was entertaining, but should have been a TV season.

  2026-06-02 14:17

  +1
• 
  it fits

  Now let's see you break 30mph.

  2026-06-02 14:15

  +1
• 
  Childhood activities

  This was before they banned lead paint.

  2026-06-02 14:14

  +1
• 
  final boss

  I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself

  2026-06-02 14:11

  +4
• 
  core memory

  When I visited my daughter's 3rd grade gym class she promised a dollar to whoever could accidentally bean me in the head. It was Gabe. 20 years ago and I still remember his name.

  2026-06-02 14:10

  +1
• 
  Duck assisted crash

  Seriously, I just noticed it a couple days ago. Am I late to the party? What's the meaning? Don't they fall all over the place? What happens when an air bag deploys?

  2026-06-02 14:06

  +2
• 
  Dammit Judy

  Wear a kilt, those bastards can hear a zipper mile away.

  2026-06-02 14:03

  +1
• 
  Dongs in a government

  Most social studies teachers were not interested in it at all. They were coaches that needed a job.

  2026-06-02 14:02

  +2
• 
  Sleep tight

  I guess it's better than a Luce.

  2026-06-02 13:59

  0
• 
  Sponsored post gone wrong

  Harvested cotton efficiently by hand in high-volume field conditions, consistently meeting daily quotas. Demonstrated strong physical endurance and stamina while working extended hours in outdoor environments.

  2026-06-02 13:56

  +8
• 
  ER nurse nightmare

  When she needs to keep both hands on the wheel.

  2026-06-02 13:53

  +1
• 
  Well that's awkward

  Great, more Kaiju.

  2026-06-02 13:50

  -1
• 
  Crack my back

  Until the cartels buy Boston Dynamics dogs and AI takes your job.

  2026-06-02 13:46

  +4
• 
  Title is based af

  They don't like all the penises.

  2026-06-02 13:43

  +6
• 
  Backpack discrimination

  When I was in school, it was absolutely taboo to put your backpack on both shoulders. You would be mocked as a baby for not walking at a 30 degree angle. This really says something about human psychology.

  2026-06-02 10:58

  +8
• 
  This is what roosters are really like.

  You should have stayed awake in health class.

  2026-06-02 09:11

  +3
• 
  the numbers

  Almost like 99% of women have a type.

  2026-06-01 16:46

  -1
• 
  early errands

  I'm one of the idiots you wake up early to avoid.

  2026-06-01 16:01

  +1
• 
  His heart is in the right place, but his feet not so much

  The boi has never missed a meal.

  2026-06-01 14:54

  +1
• 
  unpacking the mouse

  A wireless mouse is a hamster.

  2026-06-01 14:52

  +1
• 
  Mosquito update

  Every year the news sounds more and more like I'm reading something off of a terminal in fallout 4

  2026-06-01 14:31

  +6
• 
  Gerald still got it

  Grab a shovel, this is an old meme.

  2026-06-01 14:12

  +6
• 
  dog inside

  Fake, we would have answered in Korean

  2026-06-01 14:11

  0
• 
  malaysia social media ban

  I think father Doyle from St Mary's would help out with that.

  2026-06-01 14:07

  0
• 
  Just in case

  Or so she told him.

  2026-06-01 14:05

  +1
• 
  Monty Python horses

  If I recall correctly, that was bluuuuuuuuueeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!?????

  2026-06-01 12:56

  0
• 
  Simple question

  So it doesn't show up in Zoom calls.

  2026-06-01 10:51

  0